When we set out to achieve anything in any area of life, we can do it for the right reasons, but we can also end up striving hard for things we don’t actually want, but that we think we ought to strive for, because other people want us to. And you know what? When we are trying to achieve other peoples’ goals, we don’t reach those glorious heights that we can when we’re actually working out of our OWN passion and working on those things which are truly meaningful to us.
This is where goal-setting becomes fun. Learning to strip away those things which have meaning for others, but deep down matter little to us, and putting the steps in place to achieve the dreams, hopes and aspirations we secretly harbour for ourselves.
Let me give you an example of how this works…
I promise not to repeatedly blog about or bore you with wedding details (!), but this analogy is relevant, so bear with me!
I’ve been trying on wedding dresses… and if I do say so myself, there were lots of lovely dresses that did wonderful things for my figure and that I looked good in*… BUT then I tried on THE dress, and it was gorgeous and lovely and I felt pretty, but I also felt like me. Job done. That was it. That’s the one, so the rest naturally falls into place because of it- veil, shoes, bridesmaids’ dresses, the whole deal. All sorted because I chose a dress that ‘fits’ me- in how it looks, feels, my style… it is just right for ME. Not for other people, for ME.
And our goals are really no different. Oh yes, we might look pretty dressing up in others’ goals for us, and heck, we might even carry them off, but they’ll not feel as good, they won’t fit as well and they won’t be YOU in the way that actually matching your goals to YOU will feel.
Use your one life well
This is where so many people teach goal setting in a way that bores the pants of me! Honestly, if it isn’t fun and if it doesn’t flow naturally, then I think there’s something wrong. There are things we care about in this life and things we don’t give a hoot about, and the sooner we get to work on the things that matter and building things from THAT perspective, the better off we can be!
Real change takes TIME, Effort and Consistency- there are no magic wands
It’s why I take such time over Goal-Setting for Success, and, I would say, why it has proven so effective for class participants! Whatever area of life they’ve applied it to, those who’ve done the work have astonished and delighted themselves with their results, and they’re not beating themselves up, working themselves into the ground or anything else to do it, they’re simply learning how to be the new, improved versions of themselves that they want to be and using their goals as a tool to do that.
And of course, working with a professional who can help you navigate the mental roadblocks that may occur means that you are not left to cope with them alone, but are given questions, action steps and potential solutions from someone qualified to help you!
My dress has been ordered and my goals set- I will tell you now that my dress will need taken in and my goals will be tweaked multiple times this year, as early goals are achieved and surpassed, and new more challenging goals set! I can’t wait! I hope you will join me and make 2015 and OUTSTANDING year!
*By the way, if that comment made you think I was being arrogant or such, we need to talk! 😉